Bit of back-story

I’m certain that I am not the only father living such a bizarre lifestyle. I understand through my own daughter and some of her school-friends that other parents are living double lives, or at least, they live in the same household but apart: separate bedrooms and such. They remain together for the sake of the children, which is not ideal I’m sure everyone would agree and some would argue detrimental to a child’s upbringing.  however I would counter that argument.

My story cannot be so different from other dads can it? The only difference perhaps is due to the then lack of space, I spent several years sleeping on the sofa, which didn’t do my back any favours.  Ever since my daughter was weened onto a bottle, I have been the primary carer. I effectively became a house husband without a marital status and all that entails. I gave up going out to work having to work from home whenever I could, which meant working between the school runs. I have always taken my daughter to and from school, prepared her pack-lunch and made sure we had ‘play’ time when I brought her back. The only difference today  is that she goes to school on her own. I miss the old days!

I’m not complaining however, I wouldn’t have missed any of those moments for anything, all the major firsts: crawling, steps, speaking etc…wonderful memories. her mother naturally missed all those because she was out working, not because she had to go and earn, because I have never taken any money off her but because she felt she had to, I guess. The mother bolted out of the house as soon as she could and was rarely back before 8pm by which time I had put my daughter to bed.I wondered even then, this isn’t normal behavior.

The years have rolled by and the only reason we are still in this situation is because of the current laws regarding unmarried parents. under the current law, as I understand it, if the mother was ever to go into hospital, my daughter could legally be sent to live with my in-laws: I have no rights whatsoever. My greatest fear has always been that my daughter could be taken away from me and there is nothing I can do about it. The mother can barely look after herself never mind look after a child.


2 thoughts on “Bit of back-story

    1. As an unmarried father, I have little if no rights when it comes to my daughter. And of course, as my daughter is now in he throes of exams, do I really want to unsettle the status quo right now: I think I have little choice but to wait until she goes to college for the sake of her education and well being.

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