You know, the whole purpose for writing here is so that I can document and share my experiences as a father, who is in the unenviable position of having to live with his daughter’s mother or face the reality of losing my child should I opt for a separation.
Nearly everyone, in fact everyone, has at one point or another told me in no uncertain terms or at the very least asked: ‘why don’t you kick ‘her’ out? My response has always been the same: ‘I will lose custody of my daughter and that is simply a price I am not willing to pay’ and for good reason.
As I have already elucidated, the mother of my child can barely look after herself let alone my daughter despite her persuasive dexterity and who, in my mind, has managed to beguile virtually everyone. Today was another case in point. I arrived home early this morning from a second night out working expecting to find the household to be in full swing preparing for school etc…
To my astonishment but in reality not really as I have seen it all before, the house was dormant in a silent slumber even though it was already 7.20am. My daughter has to be out of the house by 8am latest. I had to wake my daughter, prepare her lunch – thankfully, I had already cooked something the day before especially – and find her some breakfast. There was no milk, bread or anything else much to offer as no one had bothered to go down to the shops. Clearly someone is waiting for me to do the weekly Friday shopping I assume.
I cannot help but wonder how, after only two days of the new school term, we have already slipped into the customary reliance on my good self to orchestrate the mornings and to ensure that my daughter starts the day in the best possible manner. Yet the perception communicated to the outside world by the mother is that she is full command of her daughter’s well being.
Sooner or later that illusion, that deception will come to the fore, but I must wonder at what cost and who will suffer the most?