ich bin ein berliner

It is a most peculiar thing; the mother of my daughter aka ‘Ms Jean Brodie’ has gone off to Berlin for an extended weekend. I don’t have any issues with this as it makes absolutely no difference or have any impact on my daily life looking after my daughter.  What is curious however, is the fact that she would appear to be unemployed at present and swanning off to Berlin is hardly conducive to looking after the pennies, especially as she appears to have gone by rail, which to all extent and purpose, is one of the most expensive means of traveling through Europe.

To add further costs to her already depleted savings, (baring in mind she had a debt collector call round not too long ago) she missed her connection and was forced to spend another night in Germany with the extra cost of a hotel room. The point here is that I must question what on earth she thinks she is doing spending money on trips abroad when she is out of work. I’m all for her having a good time and enjoying herself, God knows its great to have her out of the house for a few nights, but even so, I do question her judgement, never mind her organizational skills.

What troubles me even further is the fact that even though we don’t see eye to eye; conversation is kept to a minimum, there is obviously no physical contact and even when we do communicate it usually ends up being a heated conversation, she will in a matter of minutes carry on as though we are the best of friends? This is not the behavior of someone normal.  I have already been forced to alter my summer vacation because she has decided that she will take my daughter on holiday this year – the first time in several years – and despite my obvious rage at being messed around, she was within half an hour of blowing up, conversing as though nothing had happened. It would be all too easy to label her as schizophrenic but quite honestly, something is not quite right here.

The continued pretense of being employed to those around us, including the few friends she has is also mystifying.  Questions are being asked and I’m not sure what to say. What do you do when a mutual friend asks: ‘what is she doing these days?’ or ‘where exactly does she work?’.  It puts me in a very awkward position as a) I’m not sure at any given time what she does work-wise and b) I have absolutely no idea where she goes once she is out of the front door!

All this makes me question her state of mind. As I have stated before, she is more than adroit at maintaining this facade regarding her employment status to those around us and even chit-chat about things she clearly knows nothing about; she has an uncanny manner with words and an ability to be so convincing that she should have been an attorney! I put this down to her mother, never have two people been so alike even down to how they drink their coffee – and this despite not getting along, neither like to be in each others company for prolonged periods, possibly because they are so alike.





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