So this is Christmas

agreenerchristmastreeSo, this is Christmas, finally over and done with and to be fair, it wasn’t so bad after all. 20 odd people over including the parents of the mother of my daughter and, my partner who got on very well with them. I did wonder however if they actually knew of our relationship or not…

Its not inconceivable that their daughter had not informed them of our circumstances, but on the other hand, i find it hard to believe that in all these years of my going away with another woman and my daughter – their grand daughter – hadn’t alerted them that something was amiss…who knows? It was never mentioned. So quite surreal really.

Unlike last year, there was no doubling up on the same gifts, although this year saw a return to the pile them up high under the tree and an obscene amount of gifts were found waiting to be unwrapped. It took best part of a day!

Saying that, I restricted my daughter to just three gifts knowing that she will be swamped. That doesn’t include her stocking of course, which, as I’m sure most of you will have found, tends to mount up as you search for something suitably appropriate but accommodating enough to fit within a stocking.

We now have the annual ritual of New Year’s Eve. This, as every year presents yet another awkward dilemma as its also ‘Ms Jean Brodie’s’ birthday. In years gone past this was a headache because ‘Ms Brodie’ was reluctant to join in the festivities citing: “they’re not here to celebrate my birthday but the New Year” and no amount of ‘why can’t we celebrate both’ would appease her.

It was only after I had found someone else did I leave her to it and for the last 8 or 9 years have been forced to celebrate the New Year with whoever I was seeing at the time but never with my own daughter as her mother always wanted her to be her.  This year is no exception and I will be spending the evening with my partner leaving my daughter behind once again. I hope that in time, I too can see in the New year with my daughter, perhaps I should put my foot down,but knowing my daughter she will feel terribly guilty about leaving her mother on her own.

Leaving Ms Brodie to her own devices is also a risky business as just last night – at around 2am – I came downstairs to find the kitchen oven fan going full speed, all the windows open, and pots and pans scattered across the floor.  What had she burnt now I wondered. Nothing I was assured. It was the grill which had caught alight. Really? Apparently there was some fat in the grill tray which had ignited. I didn’t bother to mentioned for that to have happened, she would have had to have left the grill alight unattended for some time.  I suspect she either forgot it or fell asleep, I can only thank our lucky stars that she didn’t set the house ablaze.

It does however, reaffirm my belief that she is a danger not only to herself but to others around her and in particular my daughter!

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