Parent’s Evening

Its that time of year again, the time when we set off for the school parent’s evening in order to glean just how well or badly my child is doing at absorbing whatever stuff they are trying to instil into her.

To be fair, most of the stuff is simply beyond my pay scale, it is a far cry from when I was at school especially maths; longer formulas, even more complicated than I ever remember, some of it I have never even heard of before.

But then we also have pointless subjects such as Religious Studies, which all students must take thereby forgoing a more practical subject.  There is a reason for this little piece of madness; it is the easiest exam to pass so in theory virtually all students are more or less guaranteed a semi decent pass grade for at least one exam, which helps in the school’s overall exam pass rate, which is good for the school; poor exam pass rates, less attractive the school is in attracting students, less money the school receives from the state. Its a numbers game.

I know my daughter is excelling at school, so imagine my surprise when her science teacher greets me with: “I’m very disappointed,” ‘oh really?’ I say as I turn to glare at my daughter.  “She keeps getting A’s,” she continued. ‘oh,’ I replied, trying not to smile whilst thinking cripes, I think I only ever managed two A’s in my entire schooling.

“I’m tired of seeing A’s,” carried on. ” I want an A star,” she explained. I thought about it for a second before interjecting: ‘you have my permission to beat her. I have a stick you can borrow,it might do her some good.’

Not a flicker of a smile. “She must try harder,” she said. ‘I agree, she must, she will. don’t worry.’ And so it went on pretty much with all her tutors. I have a child who is achieving A’s without it would appear trying too hard. I was it must be said, very proud knowing only too well, that I never achieved such grades but we are in different times.

My daughter’s mother on the hand – Ms Jean Brodie – was a little less circumspect and grilled those poor hapless tutors she managed to collar. This is after all, all she really knows: academia is her forte, no commonsense, but stick a text book in front of her and she is in her element. never mind setting fire to the kitchen or fusing all the electrics etc, makes me wonder why she didn’t study to become a teacher.

Ironically, the only subject my daughter is struggling or put another way, not getting an A grade is the subject of Religious Studies. Not that it bothers me any, but it is a little irksome that lesson which holds no practicable use could have been better spent on another subject matter.

It is even more irritating when your child comes home informing you that she didn’t eat her carefully prepared lunch because her RS tutor had shown the pupils a video on animal cruelty just before lunch. I had prepared a chicken focaccia sandwich that morning. I was not best pleased, not with my daughter but especially with her anti-vivisectionist, tree hugging, lettuce crunching vegan of a teacher.

Needless to say, I got over it by next morning, although I made sure that I prepared her something without meat! Still proud though!




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