All In A Dream


Its exam time and my daughter like tens of thousands all over the country, is facing these anxious days with some trepidation and nerves as we, the parents are with an equal sense of apprehension, knowing that we can do nothing to aid our children in their hours of need.

Even if we could, or more to the point, even if I could, I doubt I could be of much if any assistance. Despite my years, comprehending today’s curriculum is something akin to rocket science with a twist of interpretation thrown in for good measure.

Exams are for the most part it appears, more about understanding how to answer the question on the paper as opposed to the answer itself. It is staggering just how little they really know outside the remit of the subject to hand and common sense does not equate well on the exam boards,

With that in mind, my daughter, who is expected to do very well mercifully, does at time still express moments of if not naivety, a lack of sensibility which on this particular instance, provided me with some great moral victory.

Whilst in the kitchen, me firmly rooted to the stove as per usual, she sitting at the table munching on something and her mother, who had strolled in as to not miss out on our conversation, proceeded to regale a dream from the night before.

My daughter is not usually known for remembering her dreams, indeed, she maintains that she does not have any dreams, however, on this occasion; she did remember and was full of voice in explaining what happened.

With much preamble and prevarication she finally managed to explain that she had been in a buggy. ‘A beach buggy?’ I asked. ‘No, a baby buggy,’ she replied. ‘But I was this size not a baby,’ she explained. ‘Oh, I see, that’s weird,’ I said.

‘And I was screaming,’ she continued. ‘We were zooming around from country to country,’ she said.

‘I see,’ wondering who it was that might have been pushing this buggy at such speed to cause her to scream. Her mother, aka Miss Jean Brodie, who was lurking in the background, chipped in some remark before my daughter who must have read my mind, revealed that it was my partner who was propelling her in the buggy causing her to become hysterical in both senses.

Boom! You could have heard a pin drop. I nearly dropped the pan, whilst having the broadest of grins whilst her mother quickly retired from the kitchen. I naturally, seized the moment and continued to interrogate my daughter for more information making certain to mention my partner’s name as often as possible.

It is true to say that my daughter’s mother was obviously surprised by this revelation – as I was – and must have felt as though she had been slapped across the face. But she could hardly have been surprised. My daughter has been away on holiday with my partner more times than with her own mother. What does that say?

For me, it is a total acceptance of my long suffering partner. The fact that my daughter is experiencing dream sequences featuring my partner in such a positive manner is truly heartening. It also means that there is no psychological damage from our relationship which is a massive relief.

Conversely, this unconscious acknowledgement will also ring alarm bells for the mother of my daughter. She now knows – if she didn’t before – that my partner is a part of this family and has been accepted as such my daughter.

What I do find most curious however, is the lack of awareness on the part of my daughter. As I stated earlier, she may well be extremely bright and extremely personable and yet, she didn’t stop to think what the effects of such a conversation in front of her mother would be.

In no way would she deliberately ever set out to upset her mother or anyone for that matter, that is not in her DNA. But it does illustrate her lack of sensibility to others in terms of relationships and emotions, possibly because outside the family, she has formed very few relationships on an emotional level if any and that will only come with experience and age.

Nevertheless, I was a very happy man….


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