So, after a family discussion with my nieces concerning my daughter’s indecision over work experience and the ensuing row over dinner the other day, it was simultaneously concluded that what we have here is a real life story of Rapunzel being played out, with my daughter’s mother being the control freak Mother Gothel.
It seems a little far fetched as I write this now, but in the cold light of day, when you sit and analyze the situation, ther4e are many parallels. Okay, my daughter doesn’t have a train of long blonde hair and isn’t locked away in a tower and despite my misgivings, her mother aka Miss Jean Brodie as I refer to her, is clearly not a witch. having said that, it is hard to explain the mystical-like hold she has over my daughter.
However, during the family chat, I did learn that my daughter is desperate not to displease or disappoint, let down and generally finds it difficult to express herself to most people but especially her mother.
My nieces, who had both taken her out shopping on separate occasions for her birthday, revealed my daughter found it difficult to say ‘no’ when asked if she liked some item of clothing. It was quite enlightening. They said, “if I asked her if she liked this top, she would say ‘sure’, but not in a convincing way. I had to repeatedly ask her are you sure? Finally, she would admit that she didn’t like it. I had to remind her that I’m not wearing it and that it made no difference to me before she understood and able to speak her mind”
For a 19-year-old, I find this a little troubling. I have never experienced this behavior so it came as a little bit of a surprise. But it does go some way to explain what is going on. My other niece also revealed that when asked how she would feel if her mother moved out, she replied quite manner of fact that she ‘should have moved out long ago’. That certainly took me by surprise.
As far as the work experience goes, I was told my daughter fears not being able to cope with the workload or traveling and that she dreaded her mother saying ‘told you so’… Mother knows best. Which is when we all called out Rapunzel simultaneously.
The question now is, how does one deal with this situation? Leaving the fable and Disney story aside, Mother Gothel – as I am now going to refer to her mother – is not about to relinquish her control anytime soon. Answers on a postcard!