Monkey see, Monkey do




‘Monkey see, monkey do’ but this is no wise monkey we’re talking about, in fact, I find it a little creepy and a touch disturbing. How many times have you done something only to find your friend/partner copy you and do exactly the same thing? Normally, you would accept this as a compliment. After all, they do say imitation is the finest form of flattery. But I’m not so sure.

I am already under the suspicion that the mother of my daughter aka Ms Jean Brodie, has Newson’s syndrome or PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), a kind of autism which manifests itself by pretending to be something they’re not, lacking social skills and obsessive behaviour to name but a few.

But what is troubling is when you start a project: a mundane project such as working in the garden, building a rockery for example. Now, you would have thought that after 14 years, had they really wanted to, they would have embarked on constructing a rockery years ago. But no, they waited until you have humped huge boulders into place, weeded and snapped your spinal cord before they suddenly find the impulse to get stuck in and they undertake the task whilst you’re away.

Another example; 11 months ago whilst I was away for three weeks, I come back to find a third of the garden has been turfed, this was a couple of weeks after the rockery incident. Ordinarily in isolation this is not something to get stressed over. However, its the third time she has turfed the garden in 14 years. Each time because of the large trees we have, the grass withers and dies from a lack of moisture and sunlight I suspect. To be fair however, on this occasion, it has lasted far longer than previous attempts. This may be because of the very mild winter we have had and the fact that we have had one of the wettest years on record, who knows?

Yet in 11 months has she ever cut the grass? Of course not. Its just the same when out of the blue about once a year, she goes and buys a number of plants for the garden and just leaves them in their pots. I watch them without saying anything up until they have started to wilt and even look dead (probably because they are) before I step in and plant them out to little effect it must be said.

More recently, I decided it was time to clean up the yard and spruce it up a little seeing as though spring has finally sprung. Low and behold, whilst I’m out, I find that Ms Brodie has been out tinkering with the shears, leaving a trail of cuttings for me to clear up as ever. You might say: “she’s just lending a hand” but its not like that. This is someone who sees you doing something and suddenly wants to do the same.

On an even more mundane issue it always happens after I have cooked bacon for breakfast. As sure as eggs are eggs, there is not a single time when I have cooked up a fried breakfast only to find a few minutes later, Ms Brodie is doing the same. I find it disturbing. I’m not saying she is a Lemming and would jump off a cliff were I to chose to end my life in an act of suicidal base-jumping but there is something distinctively wrong here.


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